Meet Me in The Middle

I haven’t written a “Carol’s Corner” in quite a while. I really haven’t felt compelled. Carol’s Corner comes about when my feelings bubble over to a point where I simply must write them down. Today is one of those days.

I was inspired after a recent encounter It was with another female and suffice to say, she was

a “ Karen”. Whining and demanding, entitled and hyperbolic, she went into a tirade over something that was of no real consequence. I went so far as to ask her if there was something wrong?  Had something happened that affected her day so adversely that it would cause such an overreaction? Instead of taking a pause, she doubled down.

As I walked away, I realized she wasn’t an isolated incident, people are MAD! They are lonely, isolated, angry, and frustrated. They feel the world is unjust, cruel, and crazy. (Sound familiar?)

 I believe it is systemic and prevalent enough that it is just as much a pandemic as Covid 19 (which of course has a huge role in why we feel this way to begin with)

We just spent the past 2 years in isolation and fear with Covid 19 perhaps reeking just as much mental and emotional havoc as physical. We have rampant inflation, supply shortages, polarizing politics, rising crime, gun violence, war, aggression, global unrest and devastating climate change. We are literally coming apart at the seams. Is it the chicken or the egg? Are we causing the events? Or are the events causing our emotional distress?

As a student of history these events and circumstances are not all that unique and most of them have occurred before and there has also been much worse.  I think back to the Cuban missile crisis when Russia posed the threat of nuclear war and the U.S. had to do some heavy posturing between aggression and diplomacy. There was real fear then too. The difference now is the power of social media, dis and mis information, the egalitarianism of news both fake and real and the ability to isolate in our bubbles while simultaneously being able to rail at each other in the comfort of behind our computer screens. We say things we would never say to each other face to face, or would we? I have seen some aggressive behaviors that have shocked me.

All of this unrest, unease, anger, frustration, and fear are being manifested and expanding exponentially at a most unhealthy rate. I chalk this up to several factors, one of which I believe is the parenting and child rearing of the millennials, and Gen Z’ers; creating a significant majority who somehow believe they are “owed” something, have feelings of entitlement and superiority, want something for nothing and are hyper sensitive and over react in most circumstances particularly when things don’t go their way. Now I know, I am somewhat over generalizing and there are many other factors and many within these groups that do not feel or act this way.  Other more obvious and causational factors are of course our established media, social media, fringe media, fringe groups, our educational system, our isolation and lack of neighborhood building, our politicians, our politics, the news, ratings, corporations, economic inequality, bureaucracy, cancel culture, bigotry, and the battle over diverse individual rights and lighting rod issues, including but not limited to;  minority rights, LGBTQIA rights, the right to bear arms, abortion, right to life, critical race theory, book banning, stolen elections, voter fraud, voter suppression,  religious freedom, and parent’s rights to name a few, you name it, if it has a side we have both fighting about it from either end. I find either side when in their extreme to be polarizing The far left and “woke” and the far right are more similar than they would like to believe.

This is where I come in, the Zen empathetic, open, of fluid opinion, centrist.  I can unequivocally say that I am for the right to freedom! Particularly freedom of speech. I feel this is paramount to our freedom in general and any attempt to curb it is a big mistake. I may not agree with or believe in your opinion, but I believe in your right to voice it, in all of its forms, even tweeting. I believe no one has the “right” to deny someone else from believing and speaking about what they believe.  If you do? Then make an argument for the other side of that belief and let’s discuss it. And that my friends, is what I feel is now missing. We may have experienced similar events in the past and believed in some of the same points of view we do now, however, we used to be able to discuss it.  If you don’t like or agree with a book, don’t read it.  Where do we draw the line? At a joke? A book? A tweet?  A painting?  A song?  An idea? The only way to enlighten someone is to bring the issue to “light”. It is my “right” to change my opinion if convinced otherwise, and that is all that is necessary and essential to our freedom. The right to differ in opinion. Notice I said opinion. I do not believe facts have sides. Facts are facts, they may change as we learn more about a subject and evolve as we get better and better at technology and research, but for the most part facts are facts and there is no such thing as alternative facts. That was made up by people who want to deny the truth and substitute fact for opinion. Of course it is your right to deny the facts, favor your opinion over them, but you cannot change them. The sky is blue whether you chose to believe it or not. And, there is nothing wrong with believing in your opinion, it is after all, yours. What’s the saying? Opinions are like A#$holes, everyone has one. The trouble bubbles when mis information is broadcast as a fact and people believe and then react based on it. Honesty and integrity have taken a back seat  in favor of “winning “

What we fail to have now is tolerance, respect, and compromise. We now shout over each other, insult each other, cancel people and ideas that we don’t agree with, try and discredit or silence them. What a mistake! The only way we are ever going to build the bridges we need is to let all the opinions flourish and then discuss them. We need compromise. The way things work best, is indeed compromise.  I give in a little, you give in a little and we meet somewhere in the middle. The middle is usually where you will find me. I straddle the fence on many issues and find myself shifting views constantly and I am now convinced, it’s a better way to go.  

Look at Climate Change. I find it hard to believe any one at this stage doesn’t believe it exists. We know we are heating up and the climate is changing. What I do get is some don’t believe we are as bad off as stated, and I also get some believe things are actually worse. I think it would be more honest for someone to say, “ yes, I know climate change is real, but I am not sure I’m willing to discontinue using fossil fuels “  rather than deny climate change exists. Now, as a coastal girl my whole life, I see all too well the effect climate change has had on rising tides.  On Long Island, it is now imperative to raise your house another 10 feet to avoid being overwhelmed by sea water.  It wasn’t this way growing up.  I personally believe we must do everything we can as soon as we can to at least attempt to fight back.  I believe it is our greatest global issue and will continue to get worse. But that’s me and I understand not everyone feels the same way.

Coming to the middle, compromising ,allowing for opinions outside of your own, seems the only sane way we can stop the “crazy” and come away from the edge. What is our alternative? Not very pretty is it?  Conflict is not healthy and leads to violence and ….war. Will we indeed end up in the deep end of that pool for a third one? How very sad.

I can’t help but believe it is in our best interest as a people to start to move in a more positive and understanding direction, and maybe it begins on a very micro level of how we treat each other every day, in our own spaces. We have been forced apart and separated by our technology, maybe it’s time for face to face interaction and inter connection. It doesn’t take much to listen and try and empathize.  Can we dial it down a bit, take a step back, ease off the gas?  Maybe that’s all it takes?  A little Flexibility?

“In a Gentle Way you can shake the World”  .. Ghandi